


Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Tear My Skin Apart.

by Rulerofyouall



Series: Lucifer (TV) One Shots [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Dark, Depression, Gen, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofyouall/pseuds/Rulerofyouall
Summary: 2x06 After Uriel's death and the failed suicide attempt via sniper, Lucifer tried to find a different way to get the punishment he deserves. Especially when his siblings start leaving him angry messages.





	1. Suicide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverWolf7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf7/gifts).



> Product of my depression guys sorryyyy I needed to cope. I own nothing

_Just when I thought you couldn't fall any lower, you surprised me._

_-Michael_

_Give me the blade. It is mine, evil one._

_-Azrael_

_The Beast strikes again, leaving a hole in the garrison. This emptiness is so unlike your absence among us._

_-Raphael_

_I made a bet with Valoel. He bet that you would kill another of us first, and I bet that your next victim will be yourself. Help me win and kill yourself please._

_\- Gabriel_

_You've spent your entire life being Punishment, yet you refuse to do your job when the stage light is cast on you._

_-Anabiel_

_Do you ever miss the old you? The one that wasn't a monster?_

_-Barachiel_

_It sucks because you were getting better in my book, but I was a fool to think it true._

_-Jophiel_

_Your silence speaks for you._

_-Camael_

That was only the beginning. Lucifer had gone through notes upon notes sent by his brothers and sisters, all of them with the heavenly seal of the Silver City stamped in the corner. They were all true however. He was a monster, a beast that had killed his own brother. He had tried to punish himself as it was the right thing to do, but he had failed in doing so.

That just meant he had to find some other way to do it. The detective would never allow him to do such things in her presence because she didn't know the full story, but he was only vulnerable to human weapons around her. He did, however, have access to more deadly weaponry.

He could not touch anything demonic. While he already smelled of Hell to demon kind, the blades carried a distinct signature that Mazikeen would be capable of identifying, and if Maze knew of what she was planning, she would scorn his weakness.

Should he call Linda? He thought so, but it was apparent that his siblings would see that as a way out of getting punished properly for his sins. That was off the table then. He couldn't share his weakness with anyone, not friend, brother, nor mother.

_You are the only being I've met who could bother people merely by being alive._

_-Gadreel_

 He felt jolts go through his heart as he read through each of the notes. The Devil had started finding them about a week after he had murdered his little brother. While wallowing in despair, he had come across a small note from Zachariel merely stating, "Kill yourself. We know you want to."

Dare he punish himself? He had already tried before, but perhaps he dreamt too big at the beginning. It might go better if he did something not as deadly, just draining.

The Devil reluctantly slipped off his wrinkled and ratty shirt he had been living in since the incident and made his way over to where he kept Azrael's blade. Should he give it back to her or use it to punish himself?

He decided that she could always get it once he was done with it. They could take turns. She was a patient angel.

Lucifer ran the cold metal against the skin of his wrist. It wasn't the most inconspicuous or unique of places, but he didn't care. He drew with silver, and it turned red like magic. The liquid dribbled down his skin and eventually hit the floor.

This was probably something that should be done in the bathroom, so Lucifer parked himself there next. He wasn't done punishing himself--it was too soon.

He briefly wondered how deep it could go. The Devil knew that it could easily sever limbs, but did it need sharpening or anything? Lucifer didn't care. It was doing what he wanted it to.

He desperately ran the blade across his wrist more times than he probably should have, but the feeling of release it gave him was intoxicating. It was better than cocaine or heroin or the strongest stuff on the planet.

Speaking of, the Devil rummaged around his bathroom for his needle. Why didn't he visit the bathroom more often? All the fun stuff was in here!

Just as he was shooting up for the second time, his cell phone rang. It was Chloe.

"Hello, detective. Why are you calling me at this time? Lonely? In need of company?" His words were empty.

She sounded exasperated. "No. Body in a movie theater."

"Too much popcorn perhaps?" He laughed at his own joke. "That stuff is perhaps the most conspicuous killer of all." The Devil held his phone up as the blood ran down his arm.

"Lucifer!" The detective chastised. "Wait...are you high?"

"Of course not! My metabolism is beyond that of a human's." He scoffed at the assumption.

He could nearly hear the eye roll. "Right. Get down here please, and wear something decent." It was clear that she had picked up on it for a while. "Is something going on, Lucifer?"

"Whatever would make you ask that silly question, detective?" He forced a purr out of his lips.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself, you punched Dan, you stole food in the middle of the precinct, you've been showing up drunk or high or both, and you tried to get yourself shot by a fucking sniper!" She listed off. "I'm worried, Lucifer. Talk to me."

Satan didn't know what to say, so he just said one word. "No."

He hung up and picked his ratty shirt off the floor where he had carelessly tossed it. This would have to do. He poured some of his strongest liquor into his flask for the road.

As luck would have it, Chloe wasn't happy with him for hanging up so abruptly. "You're impossible." She growled. "If I can't trust you to take care of yourself, how can I trust you to take care of anyone else?"

Lucifer ignored her comment.

"She is right, man." It was Ella. "This job is dangerous, even more so when people have to look after you."

It hurt much more than he thought she meant it to. Lucifer thought back to a particular note.

_You are a burden. You don't contribute anything useful, yet you drain everyone else's resources._

_-Remiel_

"I know." He was silent after that.

"Our Jane Doe is about 24, and this wound across her abdomen, see? It was probably caused by a knife." Ella spoke to Chloe.

This human was able to die, so why couldn't he? It must be another one of those free will things that he so desperately desired.

"Hey, Lucifer." Dan leant against the wall next to him. "Are you okay?"

Lucifer wanted to ask for a definition of okay because he wasn't sure he has ever been okay based on Heaven, Hell, and all in between.

"Lucifer?"

It became apparent to him that he never answered.

"Do I look okay to you? What sort of a bloody idiot would need to ask that stupid question? Obviously, you since there was no hope of you gaining any intellect. It was too dominated by douchiness after all." He scathingly replied.

Dan was taken aback. "Fine, dude." He paused. "Can I help?"

"You can leave."

Lucifer didn't care when he noticed that the male detective had walked to his ex wife and was now speaking quiet words and occasionally gesturing to the Devil himself. So they were talking about him. Delightful. They'd hardly be the first.

 He blinked and nearly jumped upon seeing the detective right next to him.

"I think it would be best if you to home, Lucifer. Clearly, you are not in a good place right now. Call me if you need anything."

And that was how Lucifer ended up sitting on his silken sheets on a bed that had not been used in ages holding his sister's blade once more. He read through some notes again.

Obviously, no one cared on Earth or in the Silver City, and that left Hell. He couldn't go back to Hell.

The only thing remaining was nonexistence.

He thrust upwards with the blade into his chest. Hallelujah.


	2. 911

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amenadiel didn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

Amenadiel looked up from his phone as he entered the penthouse. "Lucifer." He called out.

He received no response.

Shrugging, he tried again. His brother was probably just being stubborn after all. "Lucifer!"

Still, he got silence on return.

"Lucifer, answer me! I know you are here!" There were a couple of notes on the table, but the elder fallen angel would not touch them.

Was his brother in trouble? Is that why he wasn't answering him? Maybe he couldn't speak or couldn't hear.

Walking towards his bedroom, he noticed a distinct lack of visitors. After the bedroom, came the bathroom. Amenadiel was not ashamed to say that he screamed when he opened the door.

There was blood everywhere, soaking every so slowly and staining the tiles. In the middle of the floor was the person he was looking for with red cuts on his wrist and Azrael's blade in his chest.

"Lucifer!" Amenadiel shook him by the shoulder. "Lucifer, can you hear me?"

He didn't get a response. What should he do? They were probably the two only people within a couple of floors, and Amenadiel did not have the ability to heal his brother anymore. If only be had not fallen.

What was it that humans did during an emergency? He had tried learning the number, but he had failed miserably. 999? 933? 119?

Ah, yes. It was listed in his emergency contacts as 911. He picked up the phone and tapped his foot wildly while tears welled in his eyes and his hand grew bloodied as he tried to keep pressure on the wound.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My brother stabbed himself in the chest." He couldn't help but sob.

The receptionist forwarded the cry for help to an ambulance but stayed on the phone. "Was this a suicide attempt?"

"Well, he didn't fall on it." Amenadiel snapped at her.

"Is the knife still in the wound?" She asked.

What should Amenadiel say? If he said yes, it would be removed by humans, which would end badly, but if he said no, then he would have to take it out himself and further jeapordize his brother's life.

But Amenadiel was done with his family putting humans over Lucifer.

"Yes." He responded clearly.

Chloe was having a bad day. She was taking Ella and Dan out to LUX for drinks. Hopefully, he won't mind.

They feared that he might. Lucifer had been off lately, and he was refusing to tell about it. That was part of the reason why she was going there. She needed answers.

Imagine there surprise when the three of them pulled up to find an ambulance driving away quickly. Amenadiel sat on the curb drenched in blood and crying harder than she thought possible.

"Amenadiel?" Chloe looked concerned. "What is wrong? Where's Lucifer?"

"I don't know why he did it." The elder brother frowned. "I better go to the hospital and call Mom."

Dan looked confused. "What happened?"

Amenadiel but his lip. "Suicide attempt."

Ella coughed, and time slowed down. "Suicide attempt?" She couldn't believe it. "Lucifer is suicidal? And he didn't tell anyone?"

"He acts out in different ways. Talking has never been his thing when it comes to emotions." He corrected.

Chloe felt horrible. She had noticed his odd behavior and asked him to talk to hero. He didn't, so did that mean he didn't trust her? She even sent him home for not being in a good place earlier,  it if it was bad enough to be sent home over, she really should have gone with him to watch him.

The other two shares similar sentiments.

"Let's use my car." Hers was still running.

Ella bit her lip. "Did they give a prognosis?"

"No, but even I know enough anatomy that it isn't good." Amenadiel sighed. "He used quite a....special blade to do it."

"Which hospital?" Chloe asked.

Dan plugged in the coordinates, and they were off faster than they should have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect this reception! Do you guys want more, or are you sick of me now?


	3. Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People come and visit Lucifer, and Amenadiel hears of the notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

Amenadiel paced in the waiting area for what felt like millennia, and he would know. The three humans seemed almost numb, Dan resorting to merely watching the fallen angel walk backwards and forwards. Why had his brother done this? Had his guilt over Uriel's death really gotten that bad? Or was there some other catalyst? The older brother wished he knew the answers, but he had none. Perhaps he could find some in his penthouse?

But he should call and tell people primarily before he gets too distracted.

"Do any of you have my brother's therapist's number?" He inquired genuinely.

Chloe seemed to snap out of whatever funk she was in. "Yes." She nodded her head jerkily.

"May you please call her? Lucifer is close to her, and since she's his therapist....well, I think that is how the system works." Amenadiel asked.

She confirmed this. "Yeah, I can definitely do that. While I'm at it, I'm going to call to see if I can get Trixie a babysitter." She said the last part more to herself than anyone else.

Chloe's call was short, but it gave Amenadiel just the right amount of time to list who he needed to inform of what had happened. Mazikeen and Mother.

As the detective sat down, the fallen angel put the phone to his ear. "Mother?"

The humans looked to each other. They had heard many bad things about Lucifer's father, but they hadn't heard much at all about his mother. Did that mean she was better or worse than her male counterpart? They guessed that meant better because Amenadiel was still talking to her, but with Lucifer, one could never know for sure.

Amenadiel listened for a couple of sentences before beginning to speak in a language none of them could understand. Was this his birth language? They couldn't be sure, but it didn't matter.

They just wanted to know if Lucifer would be okay and what they could do to help him.

The fallen angel called the demon next, but that conversation was fairly short. Mazikeen had paid attention to him for a short while before hanging up and leaving for the hospital they were at.

Amenadiel was torn. His baby brother had tried to kill himself, so did that mean he didn't want to be saved? Even by human measures, the Devil would not be happy if he woke up in the earthly realm, but if he was healed via angelic measures, he would be even more pissed off. Of all things right now, though, Amenadiel wanted his brother to be healthy, so if that involved praying to try to get some celestial help, he would.

Sitting down, the eldest angel put his hands in prayer, pressed them to his head, and closed his eyes. The humans registered his actions but ignored it mostly although Ella copied the gesture.

He needed to heal, so there was only one brother to call. Raphael was the angel of healing after all.

_Raphael, I hope you can hear me because situations down on Earth have become dire. Our brother Lucifer has tried to kill himself with Azrael's blade, and I fear that human medicine may not be enough to cure the wounds he has inflicted upon himself. All I ask is that you come down here and give him another chance at living._

It was not long until he got his response.

_No._

Amenadiel was shaken to the core. Why would any of his siblings let Lucifer die? They shared blood! He couldn't believe them.

_Why not?_

Raphael soon responded to his older brother, but he did not like what he heard at all.

_It would be a disservice to aid the Beast, brother. You have already done so, and you are fallen. He is not one of us, and if he tried to take the gift of life from himself purposefully, he does not deserve to have it back. I would not do anything to help him under any circumstances for he is lost to all of us and has been for a very long time. Have you no knowledge of the communications the host has been sending him? Obviously, the answer is no._

Amenadiel did not respond to that statement. What communications? Lucifer would never respond to anything sent to him by any of the heavenly host, so he assumed that whatever it was was one-sided.

He had to figure out what it was that meant. They probably were not sending him prayers since his brother would begin to block them out after a while, so it had to be concrete. Did they send letter or notes of some kind? Amenadiel was not sure.

Nevertheless, all angels had the power to heal others, but Raphael could do it better than them. Carefully, he sent up prayers to each and every one of his siblings up in the Silver City, begging them to come to Earth and heal their brother, pleading with them to show a small amount of mercy for him.

They all refused, and that stung. He had never realized how bad it had been for Lucifer after he fell, how everyone had hated him. Amenadiel had even joined in on those activities, but he did not know how severe they were.

Charlotte, Linda, and Maze had come in a little bit later. They did not carpool, but they happened to arrive around the same time.

"Charlotte Richards is your mother?" Chloe deadpanned, not sure what to believe anymore. Lucifer was an enigma wrapped in an enigma, but it was more important that he get better right now.

It seemed like an eternity until the doctors came back in, but it was more likely just a few hours. They were, however, the longest hours of the fallen angel's life.

"How is he?" Mazikeen demanded, nearly pushing the poor guy against the wall in her desperation.

"He will recover although he did quite a number on himself. Does he see a therapist?" The doctor asked politely.

"Yes, that's me." Linda raised her hand a small bit.

He looked at her in approval. "Then, I shall leave his psychiatric treatment in your hands. As I was saying, the blade he used did quite some damage to his internal organs, so it will be quite a while until they are all healed properly. I would deny him alcohol until further notice due to some harm done to his liver as I have become aware that he is quite an avid drinker. I wouldn't recommend any hard drugs either as we have found heroin in his system, and that in general is never good. I would highly recommend having him go to rehab for that."

"He's not addicted." Amenadiel murmured. "When he stops, he stops. He does it only for the pleasure."

"Your confidence in him is admirable, but heroin is highly addictive from the first usage. From the amount in his bloodstream, he has used it multiple times, so it would be implausible for him to not be addicted at all." The doctor sighed. "I can allow immediate relatives to see him but no more."

Charlotte stood up and walked towards the door, Amenadiel trailing behind her. Maze cursed in the background. He was impressed that she waited to see him for that long.

The two of them were ushered into a sterile room. Machines beeped ominously from many corners of the room, but that was not what caught their eyes first.

Lucifer Morningstar, once so strong, callous, even a bit cocky but always confident, was diminished into an unconscious, fragile state. His eyes were closed; his hair, chaotic. His skin was as pale as the whitest of alabaster, and his arms hung limply beside him, needles sticking him in the arm. Some sort of tube had been stuck down his nose and mouth and had disappeared somewhere within him. Notably, he had been stripped of the expensive clothing he had been living in, and that had been traded out for a classic dotted hospital gown.

Amenadiel knew that whatever remained was not the same Lucifer Morningstar, not the same brother he had known, but what is was remained a mystery to him.

At least he had a clear direction to go in, and he knew that he would find out what messages were being sent between his brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is anything specific you all want me to write in this fic, don't hesitate to tell me!


	4. Penthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amenadiel goes to get some of Lucifer's things at the penthouse with Ella and Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing and sorry for long update~! computer died

"Mr. Morningstar will most likely be staying here for a while." The doctor morosely yet robotically announced. "Once he has healed enough to be coherent, he will need to be evaluated for in patient in the mental wing of the hospital."

Linda nodded in understanding. "Yes, we understand. Do you have a timeframe in which he might wake up during?"

The doctor bit his lip and shook his head. "Unfortunately, the blade that he used is quite...strange to say the least. No one has touched it without wearing gloves, but for some reason, it is almost like whoever wields it goes berserk....strange things, I tell you."

"Yes, that is a common side effect for mortals wielding the blade. If we could have it back, we would be grateful." Charlotte's words sliced through the thin air.

"Did you just say 'mortals?' Nevertheless, we cannot let the blade out of our custody just yet." He denied.

Amenadiel spoke up. "Am I allowed to bring Lucifer anything itemwise?"

The doctor turned to the fallen angel of the group. "Yes, but we would have to check it over. We cannot permit you to give him any weapon or drug or anything else that he may use to bring himself or others harm."

"Understood." He bowed his head down. "I will be going there shortly if any of you wish to join me."

"We'll go." Ella pulled Dan up, knowing that Chloe would want to remain by the fallen Devil's side at all costs.

The ride to the penthouse was completely silent. No one spoke of anything at all despite of the metaphorical elephant in the room, but they could sense each other's thoughts and emotions well enough.

Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil, a civilian consultant, a night club owner, the world record holder for all things sex, had tried to kill himself. Why? They had no idea. Lucifer himself hadn't left a note or a phone call or any communication, but Raphael had said that communications did exist between Lucifer and the Silver City. Could these have clues?

It was likely. Amenadiel knew very well how much the Devil and the rest of their siblings hated each other. They thought him a monster, a beast, an evil one, and Lucifer thought that he had been betrayed and abandoned by them. Which, in all honestly, he had been.

Therefore, it was certain that any communications between them had been negative and likely had a bad impact on Lucifer's mood and aura. Exactly what was said, the fallen angel would soon find out, but he already had guesses.

"What do you guys think we should bring him?" Dan inquired.

"Some clothes, books, etc. We can't bring him alcohol, drugs, weapons, or sex toys obviously, so that takes out a large portion of his belongings. I'd suggest not taking the more expensive things he owns since it isn't like he's taking particularly well care of them at this moment. I have some things stored nearby from when he was younger." Amenadiel shrugged.

Ella nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, and we should bring it in a paper bag."

"Why not plastic?" Dan inquired in confusion.

"Mental hospitals won't allow them to have plastic bags." She pointed out. "There are a lot of things that he won't be allowed to have, some of them you'll have to think and use that noggin of yours to figure out why." She bit her lip.

When the elevator binged and let them all out, Dan moved towards what he assumed was the bedroom.

"I wouldn't recommend going in there or the bathroom." Amenadiel quickly stopped him.

The male detective raised an eyebrow.

"That's where Lucifer did the....thing." He was quieter now.

"I assumed so, but we work for the LAPD, Amenadiel. While it might hit a bit closer to home, we'll be able to handle it." Dan hoped he was speaking the truth.

The fallen angel acquiesced and moved towards the bar. The notes that he had seen there before lay in the exact same position. None of them had been moved. With shaky hands, the eldest angel picked up the one closest to him and sat down.

_You unlovable bastard, why did you ever think you could succeed in anything? You are a failure._

_-Dardariel_

_If you can't handle it anymore and can't do it, you might as well end it all._

_-Hofniel_

_You need to be silenced. Stop yourself and remove yourself from existence._

_-Hadraniel_

_If this is what you choose to do with your life, you shouldn't have it._

_-Kemuel_

_Amenadiel and Mother don't love you. None of us ever loved you._

_-Ophaniel_

_What is the point of the Light Bringer when he brings only darkness?_

_-Rachiel_

_Having your skin must be hard to live with. Maybe that is why you tear it open?_

_-Salathiel_

_Destroy what is destructive and destroy yourself. :)_

_-Sidriel_

_I look forward to the day when all suffering is gone because that is the day I'll know your dead._

_-Verchiel_

Amenadiel stopped reading and put his head down on the bar. He took out a couple of the archaic artifacts he was going to present to Lucifer from his childhood, but did the Devil even want that? Would he appreciate it when it is so obvious that the Silver City is full of scum?

Why would Ophaniel say that he didn't love Lucifer? He always did, and it was obvious that Mother did as well. Why would Sidriel put a smiley face in his note if not to be purposefully insensitive?

He took the large metal ring in his hands. The hospital staff would definitely not let this by anyway, but if they touched it, they'd be incinerated. Maybe he should leave it then?

He heard Ella and Dan getting closer and put it away. That would have to come out later. They said no weapons, but it seemed like everything their Father gave them was a weapon.

He pulled out this small doll that Lucifer had had since he was young. It was old and ratted but still valid. Amenadiel had made it himself when his baby brother had come to him crying about what their siblings had been doing to him.

After Lucifer's fall, he had found in sitting on his bed the day after. He stayed in their and cried for literal millennia.

But now it seemed like the oldest brother not only had to heal his younger brother but also had to heal the entire family unit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy, and suggestions are always welcome!


	5. Enlightenment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Information is received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is out of character.  
> *bit spn inspired chappie*

It was dark, unwelcoming, inhospitable. It wasn't a good place necessarily unless one was at the top, and he certainly was not. No, he has never and will never be at the highest point of anything. There will be pain. There will be strife. There will be mothers with daughters and fathers without sons. Teachers with no one to teach, students with nothing to study. There will be architects with nothing to build, explorers without anything to explore.

What goes around comes around, and he thinks he's met his match. One day, there will be an end to everything. Father planned it that way, to have everything wrapped up in a neat little bow. Earth was only a project after all, something to play with and to manipulate. He never once conceived that it would take on such a life of its own.

Then again, he never thought his children, the angels, would either, but hell, did they grow. They became powerful and unrelenting. Unmerciful and callous. Emotionless and broken.

They were tools, pawns in a game they knew nothing about. The humans were granted such a miracle gift, that of free will, but they did not even recognize its value or use. They took it for granted and set out to steal such freedom away from others. Rapists, murderers, the worst sort of humanity would crawl out of their headquarters to torture the living only to be tortured while dead.

He supposed someone had to fill that role, but he had done it for far too long. There was no way that he would ever grace the walls of Hell, visit another damned soul, or torture another tortured being again. But what if that was where he truly belonged? The saints went to the Silver City; the sinners, to Hell.

But he supposed that eventually there would be torturers with nothing to torture, visitors with no one to visit, and Lords with nothing to rule. The cycle would take a full turn as reality is spun on its head into a new divine creation, starting at the beginning with brand new characters who are pure and innocent. Unlike him.

The darkness swirled around his head, shifting the curls that grew atop his head. He sat on a hillside, staring across at the slaughter. He was supposed to be in the Empty--in nonexistence. He had taken Azrael's blade and used it to rip his grace straight out of his flesh.

There should be nothing. He should feel nothing, yet these emotions continued to swell up within him like a tide coming in to wet the dry sand. The grass was dying, a bleach-y off white color. The air stunk of decay and excrement that had no doubt come from the monsters forever hunting within these walls.

He had stabbed himself with the blade, so why was he not dead? Perhaps someone had come across his body while his grace was still trickling out of it and done something to trap him in this form of metastasis. Whoever it was would feel his wrath since this place so foul was not home. Los Angeles was home, but he could not stay there.

And between death and a foreign place, he'd take death any day, having knocked on his sister's door a multitude of times. The sky was a horrible dun color with splotchy patches and clouds overhead. There was no light. That would make sense since he was the Light Bringer and had never seen this place, but nowadays, such a dark place would bother him.

Not as much as the scene in front of him however. He had thought that they were all dead, but apparently, they were still alive. Was this his Father trying to show him the future or give him a task? Was He meddling with his life, questioning Lucifer's ability to discern right from wrong?

No, there was no way the old man would be this horrible. No one would be cruel enough to joke about the existence of these beings.

They lived only to eat. They had such a ravenous hunger that would never be satiated and a rage beyond that of a thousand storms. Truly, the Devil thought that he would have to make up with his siblings because if what he was seeing was true then the world was in for it. The end was nigh, they would say as the monsters feasted on their faces and slaughtered their children like hogs and hung the bare skeletons up on walls to dry before consuming it as well.

Long ago, these beings had been around. They were the initial creations of his Father--before even Amenadiel himself was dreamed up. They were rough copies, drafts that could not be used. He tried to get rid of them, to hide them away, but what he had created was too dangerous to remain on Earth.

His Father had led them all to believe that He had destroyed them, but he should have known then that He was lying. There was no way that his Father would kill something he had created himself if he thought it could be fixed.

That's where he came here. These monsters were stronger than many things Lucifer had come across. They could easily overpower him and tear him limb from limb without hesitation, yet they were not. Lucifer continued staring at them feasting on weaker beasts across the way. The blood poured down the side of the hill as meat was ripped from bone and mouths opened at a speed the Devil never imagined was possible.

What would happen if he tried to end it all here? What would happen if he approached the nefarious beings and offered himself up as a sacrifice? He thought he would have ended it all when he used his sister's blade, but look where he was now. He was somewhere worse than before, but it was pretty much just him, his thoughts, and some monsters. No sibling had contacted him since, and he had not received one more negative note.

That was good, right? But no, he had not heard from the detective or any other human he had become fond of over the years he had been on Earth.

Would he finally die if he killed himself here though? He had tried so hard on Earth, but he just ended up somewhere worse. If he tried to kill himself here, would he just end up somewhere worse again? He shifted uncomfortably. Did he want to take that chance? There was that possibility that he would be welcomed into sleep and darkness as the monsters feasted upon his flesh, but he did not wish to be tortured for the rest of eternity.

But maybe that was what he was supposed to do. He was the Punisher, and he deserved to be Punished. He could not be so hypocritical as to ignore his gut reactions and treat himself differently. He was no better than the sinners up on Earth. In fact, he was much, much worse.

So why was he so better well off?

Sighing, Lucifer stood and started his trek across the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy. :) What do you all think?


	6. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a...fight  
> SAVE LUCIFERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is ooc  
> PART OF THIS TIS A BIT GRAPHIC

Haziel's heels clacked on the tile floor as she marched forwards towards the ward where the Devil himself lie.

He had finally tried to end it all, give himself the only suitable punishment for his crimes, but someone had to interfere. Now, they were saving him from the end he deserved. She had to put a stop to this.

She was on the right level, but the signal from Lucifer's grace was weak. While that did mean he was nearly dead, it made it incredibly hard to finish the job.

"Haziel!"

The angel turned around in a flash and saw someone she never dreamed of seeing again. Her mother. The Goddess. Now going by merely Charlotte.

"Hello...mother." She blinked. "You are not where you belong."

Charlotte shushed her. "We're waiting for Lucifer in there. I'll be right back. I'm going to go buy Lucifer a new toothbrush from the store. It's so good to see you, my daughter!"

Haziel stood awkwardly as her mother greeted her. She was a problem to deal with another day. For now, her focus was her brother.

Lucifer, once known as Samael, was one of the younger angels in the garrison. There were few who were younger. Uriel was younger as are Castiel and Azrael, but besides that, all are older than him.

She peered out in front of her where her mother had directed her. There were a few humans, one of them being that miracle, and a demon. The demon, presumably Lucifer's right hand Mazikeen, appeared to be on guard, but she had not spotted the angel yet.

Confidently, she walked to the door leading to the ICU.

"Excuse me, miss. That place is off limits to non-family members." A passing nurse informed her. "In this hospital, you must be escorted to the patient."

"I am a family member!" Haziel looked offended.

The nurse tried to collect herself. "Oh, okay," She took out a roster. "Who are you here for?"

What was the last name her brother was going by nowadays? She took a second to think of it. "Lucifer Morningstar."

The miracle's head shot up faster than she would have ever believed. "You're related to Lucifer?"

The guard-demon's head turned too. "She's an angel. Haziel." Mazikeen jumped out of her perch and stalked towards the angel.

Chloe stood up hastily. "Maze, I don't think now is a good time to-"

The first hit was thrown immediately. Haziel leaped over the demon, catching her legs on her shoulders and twisting around. The demon fell to her knees. Easy. Lucifer never did train them well.

Mazikeen growled, frustrated, and lashed out at her. She was impulsive, but she knew how to fight adequately. Her hits were strong, and she was agile. But Haziel had eons of training by God's finest.

"Code Green, level 4, ICU." The speakers came on immediately, and personnel entered the room with what appeared to be tranquilizers. Haziel couldn't be sure though.

The same nurse looked frantic. "Please stop fighting!" She bit her lip.

"No!" Maze managed to get Haziel in a head lock. "She's here to kill-" Haziel knocked her head back into her face.

Both of them were covered in blood, and the tiles were covered in the spray.

"Come and get me, angel." The demon laughed out loud. "It's my job to protect him."

Haziel smirked. "And it is my job to kill him."

Chloe gasped from the background and immediately drew her weapon at her. Why would she want to kill her own brother? Was she even related?

The next time Haziel launched an attack on Maze, Chloe shot at her, careful not to shoot her roommate. The bullets seemingly had no effect on her. Based on the holes in her shirt, they were going where she wanted them to go, but she couldn't draw blood.

The angel knocked the demon out in one more blow to the head. "That's very cute, but those petty things don't hurt angels." She smiled cynically.

The detective froze. It wasn't possible that she was telling the truth, right? There was no way that what she was saying was true; God didn't exist, did he? But the bullets weren't hurting her, and she could see them right in front of her eyes.

Was it possible that this was an actual angel? Here to kill Lucifer....The Devil. Chloe swallowed. It was all true. Her partner was the Devil. He had been telling the truth the entire time, and now, Heaven had sent someone to kill him. Oh God, Satan himself was suicidal. This was all too much to wrap her head around.

She knew one thing. Lucifer was Lucifer, and nothing would change that. He was her partner, and it is her job to protect him just as it is Maze's. She would do this.

A large security guard came up on Haziel from behind, but she lifted him up with one powerful arm and threw him forcefully into the wall. It cracked under the strain.

That meant she was strong. Supernaturally strong.....just like Lucifer was. The puzzle was coming together.

Chloe hoped that either Amenadiel or their mother would return soon.

Then, something impossible happened. Something even more impossible than angels, demons, and the divine. Haziel wasn't weakened in the slightest. She fought off all the men before launching her foot into a guy's face in a complicated kick.

She was wearing heels. The heel gouged straight into the man's eye, perhaps all the way to his brain. All Chloe knew is that she was firing shots, medics were surrounding the man, and both blood and viscous fluid was pouring from the new hole in his face.

Suddenly, everything was clear between Haziel and Lucifer. Chloe stood and ran to stand between them.

"Move away, human." Haziel gestured for her to move aside. "You have already seen what has happened to others."

"You're a murderer." Chloe spat.

The angel shook her head. "Angels aren't allowed to kill humans. They aren't going to die."

"You want to kill Lucifer."

"While I do want to, it is my job to." Haziel phrased and sauntered closer. "Move aside."

She wasn't moving, and Haziel couldn't get rid of a miracle like the other humans. Her Father would be furious! Perhaps if she called for reinforcements she would be intimidated? Sending a quick prayer for help, she stood her ground as two more angels appeared. Their names were Puriel and Remiel.

"Stand aside, human." Remiel narrowed his eyes. "Do not disobey us."

Chloe was for some reason growing in confidence. "You haven't attacked me like the others. There must be a reason."

Puriel unsheathed a blade. "I am restrained by no such rules," she launched towards her, green wings shooting out of her back.

The detective winced. That was a mistake. Oh God, she was going to die. Trixie was going to be left motherless, and Lucifer will wake to find her dead. No, Lucifer will be dead.

Puriel never reached her target. There was an angel in front of her, one she didn't recognize.

Perhaps someone was on Lucifer's side after all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy! :)  
> #savelucifer


	7. Azazel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Straight out of Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is ooc.

He had heard the distress call from millions of miles away. Haziel had called for reinforcements in an attempt to intimidate the miracle Chloe Decker to get out of their way. Now, Puriel, Remiel, and Haziel were going to kill his younger brother. Despite being older, Lucifer always had more of a presence, a way to command an army.

Lucifer started a rebellion, and he had joined in. He desired free will just as much as his brother had, and he had paid the price for it along with him. There were a multitude of fallen angels, but none of them were quite as loyal as he was.

He had spent years trying to keep his brother away from the death, destruction, and bloodshed of Hell. Even though the Devil sometimes had to use extreme means, he himself did not appreciate having to slaughter souls, torture demons, or destroy memories. Generally, he left that to their own personal guilt and memory although sometimes a demon or two would enter to heighten their pain.

But that was all in the past. It was irrelevant; it did not matter. He must remain ever-vigilant and live in the present.

"Greetings." He gave a small salute to his three siblings across from him.

"Get out of our way." Haziel growled at him, gripping a blade strongly.

Azazel, his name was, shrugged. "Sorry, no can do. A little birdie tells me that you're here to kill someone I like."

"What could you possibly appreciate about the Evil One himself?" Puriel narrowed his eyes.

"Just say his name, damn it! He's not Voldemort, and you guys don't have to be so hush-hush about Lucifer." He rolled his eyes.

Remiel shook his head. "We will not grace him with that gift. That name is not the one our Father selected for him; therefore, we cannot call him that."

"Then, call him Samael! He's not awake right now, so he won't smite you for that." He winked.

"He has lost the right to be called that name." Haziel corrected. "He fell, so he is nameless. Just as you fell, so you are nameless."

Azazel rolled his eyes. "Fucking hell, you guys are lame. What are you going to call me?"

"Sympathizer." Puriel responded automatically.

The fallen angel snorted. "Really? You all are going to call me that? Come on, just give me something interesting! I want something dramatic, something that will scare the children. Something that they can chant in circles and look all creepy, so they will remember the power and the might of me!" Azazel laughed dramatically.

The three angels blinked at him in confusion.

"You seem quite excited about abandoning our Father." Remiel noticed.

"Well, yeah, I guess so; you guys did abandon me and Luci for freaking eons, you know. He can get so fucking annoying." He sighed sorrowfully.

Chloe had been watching the angels like a tennis match for a while before it dawned on her. Azazel was trying to buy Lucifer some time. Charlotte had left briefly, so she should be back soon. Additionally, Dan, Ella, and Amenadiel had to be on their way back by now. He was stalling, waiting for his own reinforcements to come. Even with her limited knowledge on religion, she did know that three angels would probably beat one fallen angel, especially if that fallen angel isn't Lucifer.

"I want a name that people will shudder when they say it, one that leaves eerie silences afterwards. I want something that will strike fear into their hearts and make them cry for the Lord to save their sorry little souls. Got it? You guys could really do better in the nickname department." Azazel looked frustrated.

Remiel and Puriel glanced at one another.

"We can discuss this further once the Serpent is destroyed." Puriel decided.

"See? How many names can one fallen angel get? Lucifer's got the Serpent and the Evil One and the Beast and the Lord of Hell and the Devil and the Light Bringer and the Punisher and the Morning Star and the Adversary and the Prince of Darkness, though I have know idea why you all gave him both light and darkness, you really need to work on your consistency, and Satan and the Common Enemy and the Archfiend and the Dybbuk and-" Azazel was interrupted.

Haziel was getting annoyed at her brother. "Yes, we know that the Adversary has many nicknames, and you have few."

"I mean, his nicknames must be compensating for something. Not to brag, but Lucifer is-"

"We will not be discussing such sinful, inappropriate subjects whilst the three of us have an actual job to do." Puriel glared at him.

Azazel scoffed. "What? Did Father actually tell you to kill Lucifer word-for-word? What did He say?"

"We are not required to give you that information." Haziel retorted.

"So he didn't tell you to kill Lucifer! Interesting. Going rogue, are we? Well, that could be a ticket straight down to the Pit if you aren't careful there, sweetheart." The fallen angel laughed at them.

Remiel cocked his head to the side. "We were given direct instructions to end the Prince of Darkness."

"Oh, yeah? And who gave them to you? Not our Father obviously." Azazel crossed his arms and smirked. "You might want to do some fact-checking before you start taking out your own family."

Haziel had a new fire in her eyes. "Satan is in no way a part of our family. He was disowned, cast out, punished in a way only he could deserve. We are nothing like him, and we will never be."

"That doesn't make him any less of your brother." He leaned closer.

"In fact, it does. He does not reside in the Silver City anymore, and all that our related to us want him dead." She paused for a second. "Although, he does want himself dead as well."

Azazel swallowed difficultly. "Yes, I know; he does have an actual problem going on right now. So if you would please stop getting in help's way, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!" He waved bye, but they didn't move. "Well, that's rude. Please wait your turn."

Remiel snarled. "We have already expressed the desire to end him, so why don't you let us do it? It would only benefit you. You would become the Lord of Hell, and you would get all the silly nicknames you desire. People would scream whenever they see you. That's what you want, right?"

"But I would lose the only brother I've ever understood in my entire life. Besides, without him, there will be no desire." Azazel was solemn.

"Azazel? Remiel? Puriel? How nice it is to see you joining Haziel in visiting your brother!" Charlotte trotted in. "The men wouldn't let me in this section for whatever reason, so I had to knock them out. But they'll get up soon; I'm sure of it."

Puriel stiffened. "Hello, Mother. Haziel, Remiel, and I were actually just about to do what we need to do and leave."

"Nonsense! I'm sure you all miss your brother terribly so. I haven't seen any of you in ages! Come here, my children." She beckoned the closer and enveloped each of them in a hug. Azazel was the only one who returned it.

Azazel spoke up. "Mom, they're not here for a good reason."

"Does anyone need a reason to visit family?" The Goddess remained cheerful at the prospect of her family coming back together.

"No, but they are trying to tear us all apart. They're trying to kill Lucifer."

Charlotte's head violently jolted to stare at the other three. "Did your Father set you up to do this? He did, I can tell. Ooo, I hate that man, but you are all here now. You can stay with me and forever ignore anything that man is trying to order you to do."

"We were not designed for that." Haziel refused. "We were designed to obey, so obey we shall."

"I cannot let you kill your brother, Haziel. He's not well, and he needs all the support we can get him." She tried to bring them over.

The angel shook her head. "I do not care about the Serpent's health, mother. Amenadiel already tried to get us to help."

"He did?" Chloe looked surprised, but she covered her mouth up as soon as she realized who she interrupted.

Haziel scanned her, looking up and down. She swallowed nervously, hoping that it wouldn't be the last thing she did.

Finally, the angel seemed satisfied. "Amenadiel spent time while sitting in this very room sending prayers to every single one of our siblings in an effort to find someone who will heal the Devil. We all refused, and since he himself is fallen, he cannot heal Lucifer himself."

Azazel agreed. "It's true. Once you're fallen, your healing abilities are the first to go."

Charlotte raised her eyebrow. "And why are all of my children ganging up on Lucifer?"

"The Adversary must be destroyed; then, we can have peace." Puriel responded.

"Lucifer is not the one causing the chaos." The Goddess lectured.

Remiel shrugged. "Well, it's as good as any place to start the decontamination."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome


	8. Pit Locusts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer finds what he was looking for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is ooc

There was little to no plant life in Purgatory anymore; it had all been devoured. They moved quickly, adapted quickly, and started eating meat just as quickly.

As Lucifer approached the swarm, he remembered the five months those creatures had been allowed up on Earth. He had been in Hell at the time, but naturally, he had been blamed. People had said that he was at fault.

Normally, he'd laugh something like that off, but what if they were correct? What if somehow he had indirectly caused a swarm of pit locusts to descend on innocents? He wouldn't be able to forgive himself, but then again, he doubted he had that ability even now.

The pit locusts were never permitted to kill a human, and their sting hurt as much as a scorpion's did. They were rather intimidating however. They stood tall like horses and had human-like faces, and if you were caught by a particularly intelligent one, they would talk to you as they tormented you.

That, however, was long ago, and there were no humans in Purgatory. There were no rules saying that a pit locust couldn't kill an angel, even an archangel, and Lucifer was depending on that. The scars where his wings were once attached ached as if his body was trying to force him to fly away, but he could not fly. Every part of his brain was screaming at him to run away, but he did not run. No, he would face Death eye to eye. Maybe then, he would get an explanation as to what had gone so wrong in his life.

He wasn't sure if Azrael manned angelic deaths. Angels weren't technically supposed to die; they were immortal. When an angel did die, they were wiped from existence. There was nowhere to guide them to.

Perhaps he would be alone after all.

That stung a bit, but Lucifer pressed forward. It was his penance; it was what he deserved. He had always been a monster, had always been a freak. He had benefited from extravagance and sinful delights for so long without considering the costs. With every change, there were benefits and costs, but he had never done his part. He would do it now.

He briefly wondered whether or not his physical form was considered dead. Was Chloe mourning him? Would she even consider it worth it to? Or maybe his form was locked up in a hospital somewhere, attached to numerous machines trying to pump life back into a lifeless form. If that was the case, he'd do anything to stop it.

People usually think that running away solves nothing, but in this case, it would solve everything, especially since he was running away from the others and towards his demise. He would rid the world of the Devil, free it from the claw he had ensnared it with. He would undo the chains keeping humanity away from fully flourishing. Maybe once he was gone people would leave their prejudices behind and truly accept one another for who they were.

All the problems would be fixed, so how selfish was it for him to secretly want some extra time? He wanted to apologize to his mother, to his brother, to Maze, to Chloe, to Linda, to Dan, to Trixie, to Ella. He wanted to have a chance to say goodbye, and he wanted to make sure they had closure and knew what a monster he truly was.

Maze already knew that. So did Amenadiel.

Why did his Father even create such a monster? He created everyone with a purpose, so why would he create someone to tear everything apart? He had never felt so conflicted, yet he had never felt so driven. He had a goal, a plan, and a will. There would be nothing standing in his way.

The locusts were mere meters away from him. He looked at the barren world around him. The adapted fools were completely annihilated the corpse of a dead beast, but they knew that there would not be enough meat for all of them. Perhaps he could provide them with that luxury.

"Locusts." He spoke and held his arms out, opening his eyes wide as they turned on him.

Meanwhile, up on the earthly realm, Dan busted through the door with his gun drawn. The three angels had suddenly taken flight, leaving Linda, Chloe, Maze, Azazel, and Charlotte. Ella and Amenadiel burst in behind him with worried looks on their faces.

"What happened here?" Ella inquired in a panic.

Linda swallowed. "Some of Lucifer's siblings came in and tried to get in the ward to kill him."

Her face shifted to one of sorrow. "Hasn't the poor guy been through enough?"

"He has." Azazel closed his eyes as if in mourning. "He definitely has."

Dan seemed to only notice his presence then. "Sorry, but I don't know your name."

"Azazel." He offered a hand. "I've been trying to keep some of our siblings from killing Lucifer since he first took that damned blade against himself."

Ella flinched at the rough wording. "'Our?'" She clarified.

Amenadiel nodded along. "Azazel is a brother of ours. He sided with Lucifer during the rebellion, but as a result, he fell."

"Yeah, and no help from you, idiot." He rolled his eyes. "What's with Lucifer getting all the badass nicknames?"

Maze raised an eyebrow, slowly getting up from where she had fallen. "He's seen as more of a threat, Azazel."

"I can be mean! I can be ferocious and callous and just....mean!" Azazel's eyes glinted.

Amenadiel sighed. "I wouldn't recommend trying to be Lucifer. Azazel, do you have any information on Lucifer's condition since you've been watching him?"

"Yes." He responded. "Now, before I start this explanation, are you all aware of the two ways a person could kill an angel, three in Lucifer's case?"

"Lucifer's a method actor." Ella looked on in confusion. "He's not actually the Devil."

"Oh, but he is." Azazel shook his head. "Would you like proof?"

Dan and Ella met each other's eyes uneasily. "Sure."

Azazel's eyes suddenly flashed yellow, and his skin seemed to melt away in a similar fashion to Lucifer's. Only, instead of being blood red, he was covered in welts and blisters, and the pus was tinging his skin a sickly gray-yellow.

The humans all jumped away in fright.

"I know." He restored his true face. "While we were falling, Lucifer tried to take the brunt of the impact, meaning that his skin is literally still healing from the fall, but mine healed quickly. Only now, it blisters very easily."

"It's real." Dan breathed out, taking a step or two back.

"Yes, and if we're not careful, Lucifer could die. Are you with us or against us?" Azazel questioned.

He shook himself out of the reverie. "With you."

"Good. As I said, are any of you aware of the ways Lucifer could die?"

Ella was still in shock. "That....that blade."

"Yes, that is one." Azazel gave her a thumbs up.

"Lucifer is vulnerable around Chloe's presence, so maybe that has something to do with it?" Linda offered.

"He's what?" The detective raised her eyebrows and stared at him.

Amenadiel gave her a look that said 'later.' She understood; the focus is on Lucifer.

Azazel nodded. "Lucifer is vulnerable around God's miracles. They have pieces of divinity that are normally not found in humans, and that can act like holy water. Anything else?"

Amenadiel looked stony. "He's trying to do it, isn't he?"

Charlotte had tears in her eyes. "He wouldn't actually try to do that, would he?"

"From my intel, he is."

Linda looked concerned. "What is going on?"

"The final way to kill an angel is to take them out on each realm. Basically, there is an order, each of them with different heights. Pure human souls aren't as weighted as angelic grace, so you guys can rise to the Silver City since that is located on a higher level. Angels can only sink, and if they sink through all the realms, eventually.....they fall into inexistence." Azazel  broke off.

Dan sucked a deep breath in. "So, you're saying that Lucifer is still committing suicide?"

A pain noise came from Charlotte's mouth.

"Yes." He responded. "Earth is the second realm. Purgatory is the last. Lucifer is in Purgatory."

The Goddess stared at him. "Azazel, that's the last one! One more death and my baby is gone forever."

"I know." Azazel agreed. "But I need to explain the severity of the situation before I drag his sorry ass out of that pit."

"How many times must Lucifer have died to get down there?" Linda sounded shaky.

Azazel bit his lip. "The thing is, Lucifer has no clue. Once you've sunk lower, a lot of your memories are blocked out. Lucifer probably has no recollection of dying in Hell or Tartarus or Gehenna or Avalon. He probably only really remember trying with Azrael's blade. But, of course, since you guys saved him, he merely sunk."

"How do we get him back?" Dan demanded.

"Either you heal the the body quickly before the idiot can get himself eaten or I go down and struggle." He frowned.

Ella looked mildly horrified. "What do you mean by 'eaten?'"

"When humans die, they go to either the Silver City or Hell. When monsters die, they go to Purgatory. The fact that Lucifer only remembers dying once and popping up there doesn't bode well for how he views himself, but Purgatory is where the Leviathans, the Behemoth, the First Beast, the Second Beast, the Pit Locusts, the Vampires, the Werewolves, the Unicorns, the Four Beasts, the Cherubim, the Wendigo, the Djinn, the Nephilim, the Dragon, the Giants, the everything goes. It is by far the easiest realm to die in and the most risky to travel to. I would say that Lucifer is definitely going to get eaten." Azazel shook his head.

"Go get him." Chloe had a stern face. "Now. Go get Lucifer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments make me happy!  
> Sorry if the reactions to the truth suck; I can't write those really well


	9. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is about to get eaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses and still own nothing

Lucifer had been ready to die one last time. He had been ready, had called out towards the ravenous pit locusts. They had been ready to eat him. He had walked slowly to the frantic mob of beasts, and then.....he wasn't there anymore. It was quick, immediate. He was there, and then, he wasn't.

He was back on Earth and in a dreary looking hospital room. Tubes of all kinds entered nearly every orifice in his body, including the fun bits. He coughed, struggling to talk through the plastic tubing down his throat. Looking around the room, he saw Azazel panting furiously a few feet away from him. So he just have been the one to ruin his plans.

"I'm here, brother." He promised, wheezing. "I'm here."

Lucifer felt tears threaten to spill onto his face. "Azazel?" The word was heavily distorted by the tube in his throat.

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"...We couldn't let you die, Luci."

"We?"

The other nodded. "Yeah, you know, me, Amenadiel, Mom, Chloe, etc?"

"Chloe knows about this?" Lucifer was grumbling to himself now.

"Of course she does. It wasn't like we could keep it from her. She'd wonder where her partner went."

The Devil made a pained sound out of frustration.

"Listen, do you want some water or something?" He offered.

Lucifer shook his head.

Azazel bit his lip. "There's probably something else you should know."

"What? What else could I possibly need go know?"

"Haziel and some others came to Earth to kill you, and during that fiasco, uh, your true identity was outed to Ella, Chloe, and Daniel..." The fallen angel trailed off.

"Then, they know me for the monster I am. Good for them." It hurt Lucifer's heart to think about what the humans must now think of him.

Azazel shook his head. "You're not a monster. They don't think you are one either because you're still the same person as before."

"I've killed."

"So have they."

"In the line of duty."

"Your case was in the line of duty as well." Azeri gestured towards the door. "Look, I'm going to go tell them that you're awake."

Lucifer frantically shook his head, and his heart rate monitor sped up. "No! No, no, no."

"Why not?"

"I want some time to think about things alone."

Azazel shook his head. "You know that I can't just leave you alone right now. But if you don't want to let them know quite yet, I can sit here quietly until you're ready." He sat down in the seat near the bed.

Satan took that plan and instantly fell in the neverending pool of thoughts rippling through his skull.

Why had Azazel saved him? It was true that they shared a closer bond than he had with most other angels, but he had been around the Devil enough to know just how corrupt he truly was. Yet he didn't seem to think that death was a good option.

Looking back on it, Lucifer assumed that he had been falling through every plane below the earthly one, but that meant that he had only needed one more death in Purgatory to finish him off. And he was so close to a gross, gory and at the hands--or claws--of the pit locusts. It didn't seem fair. All the effort he had obviously put into getting rid of the source of all evil was for naught.

What motivated Azazel to even consider saving Lucifer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	10. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

How did he fall so far? Not only physically but in every meaning of the word. He used to have power over death, but that disappeared after Jesus came back from the dead. He used to live in the Silver City with his family, but that was obviously not the case anymore. And even though he had risen so far in terms of the realms, he felt as though he had been sinking instead.

Azazel had kept his word and was currently sitting awkwardly in the farthest corner of the room, allowing the Devil some of his desired space. Why would he have saved Lucifer? Azazel had been left in Hell nearly every time Lucifer had decided to go to Earth, and although he could fly there on his own, it must have hurt him in some way.

Back when they were younger, Satan thought he had been showing the other angel what was truly right, not what their Father had taught them. Was it possible that he had ruined his life? Manipulated him? He probably would have had a much more rewarding existence with the rest of the family. Azazel didn't deserve to suffer in the Pit for the rest of eternity; that punishment was meant for Lucifer alone.

What was it that Dr. Linda had tried to teach him? Positive thinking? He wasn't feeling all too cheery right now, and he frankly didn't feel like putting in the effort necessary.

"Just tell me when you're ready." Azazel commented. "Mom, Amenadiel, and Mazikeen are probably very curious as to why it is taking so long however."

That was true. The inhumans knew that time ran differently between realms, going the fastest and the top and the slowest at the bottom, so they would be wondering why it was taking longer than it should.

But he didn't feel like he was ready to face the disappointed, pitying glances that they would give him. He didn't want them to see how far he had fallen, what he had done to himself--one of God's own creations.

They could just be waiting for him to let them in to insult him, just like all of his siblings have been doing via note. Did the others even know about that? Someone must have gone into his penthouse to even find him, and he remembered just leaving them around on tables and chairs and even his piano.

"They're very worried about you." Azazel mentioned quietly. "They want you to get better."

He didn't want to get better. He wanted it to be over, like it should have been eons ago. Mum had said that his Father was originally going to destroy him, and the Devil wished he had.

"Would you feel more comfortable if only one person came in?"

He knew that the other angel was desperate to get him speaking with the others, but he despised the thought of interacting with any one of his friends. He had already said his goodbyes to them.

"It could be just Amenadiel or Mom."

He winced, knowing that his mother had probably insulted his other friends a couple of times already. She was not the best with humans and also probably be incredibly emotional if she came in; he didn't think he would be able to handle her.

"Amenadiel."

"You want me to get him?"

"Yes, please." His voice was still hoarse.

Before leaving, his brother placed a paper cup filled with water despite the fact that he had refused it earlier.

Lucifer pulled the hospital covers as far as he could over his head and waited until his eldest sibling entered the room.

"Lucifer," it was Amenadiel's voice.

The Devil couldn't resist peaking at his brother, but he regretted doing do immediately after. His brother looked tired and had bags under his eyes. He looked to be as old as he actually was.

"I got you some things." The oldest angel brought out two dolls: one made of terra cotta and the other from the husk of maize. They were in remarkably good condition for being millennia old, but he knew that it was due to supernatural forces.

The Devil stretched his arm out as far as he could with the tubes in them to accept the maize doll. This one wasn't an angel but a human woman with a leafy dress and long, fibrous hair. He remembered Gabriel helping him make it long ago; tears threatened to spill over his eyelids.

The terra cotta doll was an angel however. He had carved wings and the same robes that were worn by every member of the heavenly host. Amenadiel had helped him with this one.

"Thank you." He inspected the status of his maize doll before moving her arms around a little bit as if testing the waters.

"You're welcome." Amenadiel fell into companionable silence. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got dragged out of Purgatory."

The eldest brother hummed a bit. "I'm here to listen to whatever you need or want to say whenever, you know."

Lucifer was a bit stunned. "Weren't you the one trying to send me packing to Hell?"

"I'm sorry, Luci. I was trying to-to prove myself to our Father. I shouldn't have tried so hard."

The Devil frowned. "How did I get here?"

"I found you." The fallen angel responded. "Ella, Dan, and Chloe would have if I didn't. They stopped for a visit fifteen minutes later. By then, it might have been too late."

Guilt bit at him. "How are they doing?"

"They're understandably distressed right now, but they have accepted the truth quite well." He paused. "For how long have our siblings been sending you the notes?" He changed the subject.

"Since Uriel."

Amenadiel sighed. "I see. Have any of them shown up in person?"

"No. Well, besides the Haziel thing. Why was she intervening any way?"

"You know why. That was when Azazel showed up."

"Funny, if she hadn't caused Azazel to come up here, he never would have gotten me from Purgatory. I'd be dead if she didn't try to rush it."

Amenadiel looked disturbed at that. "I guess you're right. I'll have to thank him again, but Lucifer, I need to make a deal with you."

His interest was piqued. "Go on."

"I'll do whatever you want me to as long as you talk to someone when he feel these impulses and urges."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy!

**Author's Note:**

> Please give me suggestions!  
> Tell me if you want more of this particular one. I'm open to extending this one. That is why I included Charlotte, Linda, Maze, and Amenadiel in the tags. I've written more with them in it, but I don't know if you people would like that or not.


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